awkward as a cow on a crutch and awkward as a cow on roller skates

awkward as a cow on a crutch and awkward as a cow on roller skates very clumsy or off balance. (Also: as ~.)
- E.g. When Lulu was overweight, she was awkward as a cow on a crutch.
- E.g. Tom will never be a gymnast. He’s as awkward as a cow on roller skates!